Offbeat News - From Offbeat Chronicles

Constables Raid Old Curiosity Shop [Offbeat News] [Offbeat Humour]

Alternative Title: A Tale of Two Titties

The Times Newspaper 11th April 1857

In a dawn operation, Her Majesty’s police constables entered a house of ill-repute in the Whitechapel district of London after interrogating a Mr. Charles Dickkens, who had been arrested earlier on suspicion of treason, following an anonymous tip-off.

The police have released a likeness of a Miss Amelia (Cissie) Blanford (a dolly-mop who was known to frequent the premises) taken as she made good her escape.

The police wish to interview Miss Blanford, who was known to associate with an aristocratic gentleman, and a person of unknown gender.

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Source

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Tags: Offbeat, Offbeat+News, Offbeat+Chronicles, Humour, Humor, Victorian, Charles+Dickkens, Old+Curiosity+Shop, Dolly+mop, Victorian+Chronicles

Scottish Government Puts Clamps On Tartan Talk [Offbeat News]

Scots Making A Makeover

Alternative Title: Men In Skirts Turn Over A New Leaf

Is it goodbye to tartan, bagpipes and kilts? Maybe not, but it looks like the Scots want to dump the shortbread tin image. They say that there is more to Scotland than tartan and whiskey. That might be so, but they’ve been promoting that image for some time and it might take some doing to shed it.

I mean, this sort of thing hasn’t been helping has it?

http://scottishterrierdogs.blogspot.com/2008/01/should-your-dog-wear-kilt-for-robbie.html

And on the tiresome subject of what a Scot wears under his kilt, well this has already been reported by Offbeat Chronicles some time ago.

But now as we’ve brought it up …….. here’s a stool for kilt wearers …... and possibly Jeremy Paxman, as well, now I come to think of it.

And of course there is always the question – would you, or wouldn’t you? It might take a while to load, but it’s worth it.

SikVid movie

Anyway, back to the story. The Scottish Government has renamed the country's annual Tartan Week celebrations that will take place next month as ‘Scotland Week’. The country also has to try to counter the old image perpetuated by New York's Scottish residents and descendants, who maintain their own Tartan Day celebrations.

In an attempt to showcase modern Scotland, Scottish government officials will travel to the United States next month to highlight the country's business opportunities.

The Nitehawk would have liked to wish them every success. However, in the light of recent news I now hope that their sporrans get caught up in the baggage carousel!

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Source: UPI  KickArseMovies   

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Tags: Offbeat, Offbeat+News, Offbeat+Chronicles, Humour, Humor, Scottish, Tartan, Jeremy+Paxman, Kilts

Being British [Offbeat News]

Curry, Kebab, Belgian Beer – ooh, lovely

Alternative Title: What Makes A Brit?

A pretty good definition of the term ‘Being British’ was sent by Robert Readman, Bournemouth of Dorset, England as a Letter To The Editor (of the Telegraph newspaper).

Sir - Being British is about driving in a German car to an irish pub where we imbibe copious amounts of Belgian or eastern European beer, then on the way home stopping to pick up an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab to consume as we sit on our Swedish furniture watching American shows on Japanese TVs.
But above all, being British is our suspicion of anything foreign.

Well, Robert I think that just about covers it. Can anyone think of anything else?

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Tags: Offbeat, Offbeat+News, Offbeat+Chronicles, British

Off To Blighty (Again) [Offbeat News]

Well, chums I'm off to Blighty for about a week, so there won't be any posts for a while. Sigh. Just when I'd got going again.

It's Shrove Tuesday today and the last day of Carnival here in Europe - and few other places come to think of it. I haven't been out revelling, and I certainly haven't had any pancakes. I've been far too busy learning about cascading style sheets.

One of the categories I've selected for this post is 'Have I Got Old News For You'. The reason why is that whilst trying to build a link to 'Blighty' I came across a bit of information about mince pies. No, they weren't very old mince pies. It's just that according to the owner of Blighty's Tuck Store it's illegal to eat mince pies on Christmas Day. And that seems to have something to do with Oliver Cromwell, which I think does actually make this old news.

I'll leave you with this rather delightful picture of the storefront of Blighty's, which is located in Orangeville, Canada. I only wish there was a branch round the corner from me, Oliver Cromwell or not!

Have a browse through the archives while I'm away.

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Tags: Offbeat, Offbeat+News, Offbeat+Chronicles, Blighty, Mince+Pies

Farewell To Curry King [Offbeat News]

It is with regret that we report the passing of Abdul Latif, a restaurateur in the North East of England.

Abdul Latif, who was of Bangladeshi origin created the dish which he named “curry hell”. It was so hot that if you visited his restaurant and could finish the meal – then you didn’t have to pay.

Also members of the British Armed Services who had served in Iraq were offered five years of free food by this larger than life character.

Mr Latif died of a heart attack at his home early Sunday morning.

News Link

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Tags: Curry, Curry+King, Offbeat, Offbeat+News, Offbeat+Chronicles

How To Marshal A Jet Aircraft

This just had to be another one for the category ‘The British Way’.

Enjoy.

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Tags: British, Jet+Aircraft

The British Way

Here to launch this new category “The British Way”, are three stories with a British theme. First a British teacher who ‘zapped love rival with stun gun’.

This sort of thing didn’t happen when I was at school.

Read full story

And then there was the story of the policeman caught 'trying to book his holiday' - while investigating a break-in at Thomas Cook (and his car was parked on the pavement!)

A typical example of British resourcefulness and time saving I’d say.

More

And lastly, a British burglary victim voiced disbelief Monday at a thief's "unbelievable" cheek in calling a taxi from her ransacked home to make his getaway.

I don’t know what all the fuss is about. What did they expect, that he should have got a bus? That mode of transport is far too dangerous these days.

Below is shown a picture of a taxi not used by the burglar.

More

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Tags: British