Offbeat News - From Offbeat Chronicles

Playing The Goat [Offbeat News]

Alternative Title: Men Behaving Beastly Really Gets My Goat

Almost a year ago Offbeat Chronicles reported the strange and rather sad story of Mr. Tombe who had married a goat. Some time later the goat died, which was probably a happy release for both of them.

We thought that was the end of the story, but recently a new comedy mobile messaging service called Buzz My Goat pulled a publicity stunt – which appears to have worked – by trying to track down Mr. Tombe and offering him a replacement goat. This sacrificial offering intended as Mr. Tombe’s future bride goes by the name of Daisy. Read more.

It is not yet known whether Mr. Tombe will be taking up the offer, as unconfirmed reports indicate that “he’s put all that sort of thing behind him”. But just why the walls of his home are now covered with pictures of sheep in provocative poses has not been explained.

Well, if Mr. Tombe is on the horns of a dilemma, there are certainly others willing to take his place. Recently in the news it was reported that A 68-year-old New Zealand man tried to have sex with a goat, although he didn’t quite make it. The judge hearing the case ruled that the man’s identity should not be revealed because of the effect it might have on his state of mind.

Offbeat Chronicles, however, can reveal the identity of the slut who no doubt lead him on. She is one-time model Samantha, seen here in one of her photo shoots.

And last year a 63-year-old man from Tacoma, USA, who was charged with having sex with a goat explained that he was merely trying to milk it. In the report by AHN it is also revealed that in a separate incident another man had been accused of having sex with the family pit bull. Speaking from his hospital bed, the unnamed man said it had all been a terrible misunderstanding.

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Tags: Offbeat, Offbeat+News, Offbeat+Chronicles, Humour, Humor, Goat, Sex

Montecassino [Offbeat News]

Montecassino

Picture source L'Abbazia di Montecanssino

Monte Cassino is a rocky hill about 130 km (80 miles) south of Rome, Italy, c. 2 km to the west of the town of Cassino (the Roman Casinum having been on the hill) and 520 m altitude. It is noted as the site where Benedict of Nursia established his first monastery, the source of the Benedictine Order, around 529, and of major battles towards the end of World War II.

Source Wikipedia

The Battle of Monte Cassino (also known as the Battle for Rome and the Battle for Cassino) was a costly series of four battles during World War II, fought by the Allies with the intention of breaking through the Winter Line and seizing Rome.

Source Wikipedia

But more recently, disturbing news has surfaced after a local priest broke the rule of confessional confidentiality and leaked this story.

The priest told our reporter that an elderly Italian man who lived on the outskirts of Montecassino went to the local church for confession.

When the priest slid open the panel in the confessional, the man said, "Father ... during World War II, a beautiful Jewish woman from our neighbourhood knocked urgently on my door and asked me to hide her from the Nazis. So I hid her in my attic."

The priest replied, "That was a wonderful thing you did, my son! And you have no need to confess that."

"There is more to tell, Father. She started to repay me with sexual favours. This happened several times a week, and sometimes twice on Sundays."

The priest said, "By doing that, you placed yourselves in great danger. However, two people under those circumstances can easily succumb to the weakness of the flesh. However, if you are truly sorry for your actions, you are indeed forgiven."

"Thank you, Father. That's a great load off my mind. But I do have one more question."

"And what is that, my son?" asked the priest.

"Should I tell her the war is over?"

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Tags: Offbeat, Offbeat+News, Offbeat+Chronicles, Montecassino

Web Rage [Offbeat News]

Searching the web is driving me crazy!

Alternative Title: The One That Got Away

Usually when I want to find something on the Web I just call up good old Google in my browser and enter a search string.

Within seconds I’ve got pages of links for me to sort through. That is until today.

A couple of weeks ago I saw a piece on BBC TV about a new adult exercise technique based on the movements of babies. And a few days later I came across an article in one of the newspapers reporting on the same topic.

When I was in Blighty last week, I mentioned this, but nobody had heard of it, so I vowed to highlight the piece in a post.

With high hopes this morning I opened my browser and searched for the piece. I spent hours concocting all sorts of search strings in an attempt at finding the piece again. I tried advanced search, time dependent search, country search. You name it, I did it. But the piece just seems to have been wiped from cyberspace. Ah, well that’s life.

Eventually, I did find something on a Vegan website that referred to ‘Natural Exercises’. I suppose you could call this a consolation prize after all my efforts.

But while we're on the subject of exercise I also recall that a playground for the over-60s was opened in Manchester recently. Fortunately, I did manage to find this piece on the Daily Mail website.

The playground was built by the residents' association in Dam Head Park, Blackley, and Residents' association chairman Joan FitzGerald said: "When we tested it all the people we took in were over 70 and I have never heard so much laughing. I believe you are never too old to play and this also helps keep you fit."

Well, I’m all for people having fun – at any age, but I just hope that all the exuberance doesn’t lead to irresponsible behaviour.

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Tags: Offbeat, Offbeat+News, Offbeat+Chronicles, Exercise, Old+People

Off To Blighty (Again) [Offbeat News]

Well, chums I'm off to Blighty for about a week, so there won't be any posts for a while. Sigh. Just when I'd got going again.

It's Shrove Tuesday today and the last day of Carnival here in Europe - and few other places come to think of it. I haven't been out revelling, and I certainly haven't had any pancakes. I've been far too busy learning about cascading style sheets.

One of the categories I've selected for this post is 'Have I Got Old News For You'. The reason why is that whilst trying to build a link to 'Blighty' I came across a bit of information about mince pies. No, they weren't very old mince pies. It's just that according to the owner of Blighty's Tuck Store it's illegal to eat mince pies on Christmas Day. And that seems to have something to do with Oliver Cromwell, which I think does actually make this old news.

I'll leave you with this rather delightful picture of the storefront of Blighty's, which is located in Orangeville, Canada. I only wish there was a branch round the corner from me, Oliver Cromwell or not!

Have a browse through the archives while I'm away.

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Tags: Offbeat, Offbeat+News, Offbeat+Chronicles, Blighty, Mince+Pies