Offbeat News - From Offbeat Chronicles

Sumo In The News [Offbeat News] [Offbeat Humour]

Alternative Title: What A Rikishi Wears Under His Kesho-mawashi

Is the guy seated saying I think you forgot these?

And if you fancy a crack at this yourself, why not cut out all the training and just buy an inflatable sumo suit. Get yours at eBay before they’re all snapped up.

Here’s some reading material at at Wikipedia you can browse through while you’re eating your king-sized burgers and swilling the extra-strong lager (you’ve got to do some training). By teatime you’ll be a Sumo master.

As for me, I’m not bothering with the suit or Wikipedia, I’m off to Lindas Garotas Japonesas to look at pictures of beautiful Japanese women.

Have a nice weekend.

Tags: Offbeat, Offbeat+News, Offbeat+Chronicles, Humour, Humor, Sumo, Japanese

Ashley Alexandra Dupre Sings For Her Supper [Offbeat News]

Nitehawk gets bitchy about Ashley Alexandra Dupre

Alternative Title: Don’t Give Up The Day Job

Having visited Ashley’s MySpace site which pumps out Ashley’s song ‘What We Want’ as soon as the page downloads, it becomes apparent that she’s lucky that she has other career options.

With a passing resemblance to Sandra Bullock, 22–year old Ashley has recently been at the centre of the prostitution scandal engulfing New York's governor Governor Eliot Spitzer.

It is alleged that the Governor paid more than $4,000 for her services. That’s one hell of a lot of CDs.

Looking over the MySpace site it’s clear that she’s got some dedicated supporters, and it’s worth a visit just for the comments alone.

And if you’d forgotten. This is how Sandra Bullock looks.

*********

Brought to you by Offbeat Chronicles – your source of Offbeat News from an offbeat angle

*********

Blog descriptive keywords:

offbeat, offbeat news, humour, humor, satire, funny, mad, strange, odd, odd news, comical, spoof, spoof news, comment, life, wacky, whacky, weird, crazy, alternative, life, British, ridiculous, glamour, celebrities

Tags: Offbeat, Offbeat+News, Offbeat+Chronicles, Ashley+Alexandra+Dupre, Sandra+Bullock, Spitzer

Camera Looks Through Clothing [Offbeat News]

Swarms of photographers likely to be hitting the streets this summer!

Alternative Title: Where Can I Buy One?

A camera that can "see" explosives, drugs and weapons hidden under clothing from 25 metres has been invented.

The ThruVision system could be deployed at airports, railway stations or other public spaces as part of a security system. According to the designers it does not reveal "body detail" or subject people to "harmful radiation".

However, in a leaked report it is claimed that with a little tinkering the camera can actually be made to see right through clothing!

Offbeat Chronicles has been able to obtain the secret photos taken with the device during trials, and in the interest of public awareness has taken the courageous decision to post them.

At the time of writing no details as to the cost of the camera have been released, but I’ve already put it on my Christmas list.

*********

Brought to you by Offbeat Chronicles – your source of Offbeat News from an offbeat angle

*********

Blog descriptive keywords:

offbeat, offbeat news, humour, humor, satire, funny, mad, strange, odd, odd news, comical, spoof, spoof news, comment, life, wacky, whacky, weird, crazy, alternative, life, British, ridiculous, glamour, celebrities

Tags: Offbeat, Offbeat+News, Offbeat+Chronicles, Humour, Humor, Camera, See-through, Glamour, Spoof

Women Dash For Cash In Stiletto Heels [Offbeat News]

Pick Of The Week: Women Race In Stiletto Heels

“Like a herd of antelope, jockeying and shoving for position” would not normally conjure up the image of women in stiletto heels. But last week there was the unlikely sight of 150 woman running en masse down a Dutch street.

This annual race was staged in Amsterdam’s P.C. Hooft street last Thursday over a distance of 380-yards. What would make women do such a thing, you might ask? Surprise answer = money. This year’s winner Tamara Ruben, 25, from the town of Veenendaal, scooped up the $15,000 first prize

The spectacle is definitely not for those of a nervous disposition, although you could say that it is all harmless fun.

However tragedy struck this year as one poor unfortunate who had just popped out for some vegetables, stepped out from a side street. Speaking from hospital Jan de Man said “I never want to look up a woman’s skirt again.”

My question is why stop at stilettos? Seen below is a contestant rehearsing for the Offbeat Chronicles version of the race. The rules: not many, and not much running.

Oh, and just for the Geeks: What Are Stilettos?

*********

Source: AP Fotosearch Superstock

*********

Brought to you by Offbeat Chronicles – your source of Offbeat News from an offbeat angle

*********

Blog descriptive keywords:

offbeat, offbeat news, humour, humor, satire, funny, mad, strange, odd, odd news, comical, spoof, spoof news, comment, life, wacky, whacky, weird, crazy, alternative, life, British, ridiculous, glamour, celebrities

Tags: Offbeat, Offbeat+News, Offbeat+Chronicles, Humour, Humor, Stiletto+Heels, Holland, Glamour, Stockings

Lindsay or Marilyn Monroe [Offbeat News]

Lindsay Lohan, bare (faced) photo shoot of Marilyn Monroe Classic

Alternative Title: You Must Be Joking!

Obviously, anybody who’s interested in glamour – or news for that matter – would be aware that Lindsay Lohan has done a photo shoot where she is attempting to recreate a famous Marilyn Monroe photo set.

Poor girl. She’s not to blame.

The real tragedy is that the photographer, Bert Stern, now in his seventies DID THE ORIGINAL PHOTO SHOOT WITH MARILYN.

Surely, he could have found a more curvy, womanly ….. oh, I can’t go on …. I’m too overcome.

I’ll have to seek solace in my extra strong lager, while I try to recover.

For those of you with a stronger disposition than myself, you can carry on the self-torture at DollyMix

Brought to you by Offbeat Chronicles – your source of Offbeat News from an offbeat angle

Tags: Offbeat, Offbeat+News, Offbeat+Chronicles, Marilyn+Monroe, Lindsay+Lohan, Grolsch+Kanon