Alternative Title: Chip Off The Old Block
Lego – do you know what I’m talking about? Those little plastic building blocks that you fit together to ……. well I’m not sure really.
A couple of years ago when some friends who had kids were visiting, I went out and bought a few (cheapo – read imitation) boxes of the stuff. I thought it would keep the children occupied in a creative and educational way.
As it happened they just ripped open the boxes and threw the blocks around the room, then lost interest. They had much more fun poking in the dust covers of my seriously expensive monitor speakers and dripping juice down the front of my flat panel TV. Ah, don’t you just love the little darlings.
When they’d left and I’d stopped crying, I still had something to remember them by. Even after cleaning up, for weeks later I would still be finding those blocks.
I found one when I woke one night with a raging thirst, after an evening spent consuming extra-strong lager and kebabs. (Don’t you find that chili sauce really salty?)
Yeah, I found it alright. As I padded downstairs barefooted to the fridge, hair unkempt, yawning and scratching at my underpants I managed to tread on one of those damn things.
It wasn’t there when I went to bed. But somehow one of those small rectangular and incredible sharp pieces of plastic appeared as if by magic on the floor.
The pain was excruciating as I hopped around the room after the initially surprisingly girlie scream, cursing and fumbling to find a light switch. Undaunted, I limped to the fridge for an ice-cold can of Pepsi that I’d have sold my grandmother for. A slow rub across the forehead to cool the head, then …….. the ring-pull snaps off.
Back to the kitchen to shove the end of a fork into the little indent where the ring-pull was once attached. Of course the stuff shoots out all over my lucky T-shirt that I couldn’t be bothered to take off the previous night. It was ruined now, and I’d only just managed to get the bloodstains out. That little nurse with the sweet smile at the casualty department never did return the call.
So what use are those darn things? I thought I’d check the news to find how they were inspiring other people, and here’s what I found.
I can understand people becoming obsessed with something, but not to the extent of naming their kid after it, like this Swedish couple did. The pair won a legal battle to name their son Lego. I just love the line at Fark: “Neighbours already report that he's a bit of a blockhead.”
I suppose looking on the bright side, the kid should be grateful that his parents weren't avid fans of Prince's single "Sexy M.F."
So just what can you do with this stuff? Well, Offbeat Chronicles has investigated and has come up with the following ideas:
You could create classic photos using the blocks as shown at Gizmodo (scroll down the page a bit when you get to the site until you find them).
But for those long winter evenings you might want a bigger project like this iron giant shown at Neatorama.
Or you could just try to confound people, like whoever built this 2.5 metre (8 foot) tall plastic character which was washed up on the shores of Holland.
Mystery surrounds the origins of the man, but a woman nearby, named Marianne, suspected it came from across the Channel.
"I saw the Lego toy floating towards the beach from the direction of England," she said.
"Nobody know what it is - or means."
As far as I’m concerned it means that you don’t want to upset anybody who uses bricks that big.
Meanwhile, back to the building projects. What about building a church?
I’ve already decided what I’m going to do with those bricks I bought. I’m going to donate them to the guy who is going around repairing ancient city walls. You’ve got to admit it, that’s just pure class.
And finally, for those who like a bit of history, I’ll just leave you with Monty Python:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fIXByCAIzos
*********
Observational humor (humour)
*********
Offbeat Chronicles
Recent Comments