What Is A Friend?
A friend sees all the good in you, and excuses all your faults,
They may be many miles away, but you're always in their thoughts,
Kind and supportive is what a friend can be,
Like a lifeline thrown to a drowning man in a stormy sea.
What Is Not A Friend?
Someone is not your friend if they make you look a t*t,
And gob in your burger and fries when you've slipped out for a sh*t.
You might just forgive someone, even if they’re a liar,
But you can cross them off your Christmas list if they set your nuts on fire.
Offbeat Chronicles has made a reconstruction of what the man’s facial expression might have been when he woke up.
Things might have been a lot worse if Elliot Tuleja’s incontinent golden retriever, Puddles, had not been present at the time of the incident.
That was really a case of a man’s best friend.