Who Work Harder - Men Or Women? [Offbeat News] [Offbeat Humour]

This question is the subject of news items every now and then, with some writers favouring men and others favouring women.

As far as Australians are concerned, the jury is still out.

At the Australian website MySmallBusiness, it is argued that men are prepared to and actually do work longer hours than women.

With an alternative view NEWScom.au indicates that working mums do far more work than the dads.

And when it comes to love, men it seems work harder at courtship, but women work harder at an orgasm.

"It's amazing to me how much brain work it takes for a girl to have an orgasm," (Jenny) McCarthy said. "Guys just need to look at a nipple, and they lose it. God, I wish it was that easy for us!"

She could be right there. I get inflamed just looking at Olga The Traveling Bra.

But the bottom line is that at the workplace, male or female, it seems we’re encouraged to give more, strive harder and there’s a lot of corporate gobbledegook about giving 100%. So let’s take a moment to look at this.

What makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

If you want to achieve more in your job, seen to be striving and seen to be giving more, then there’s a mathematical formula that’s been around for a while which might help you:

If:
A B CD E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+ 15+18+11 = 98%

and

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

A-S-S-K-I-S -S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it’s the Bullshit and Ass kissing that will put you over the top.

Tags: Offbeat, Offbeat+News, Offbeat+Chronicles, Humour, Humor, Men, Women, Work, Courtship, Orgasm, Bullshit, Ass+kissing

Comments

[Olga, the Traveling Bra]

Glad I could inflame you. :)

[Nitehawk]

Ooh, I'm going to need a strong herbal elixir before I can retire to bed. In fact my cups runneth over. :)
Nice work.

[sobapedi]

still hopin you send to me what you know. excuse me to be so boring, but it takes less than 1 minute to do it. if you dont really want, just tell me.

[earthlingorgeous]

This is so funny! Funny yet true! I love the computations :)

[Static]

I think hermaphrodites and crossdressers work the hardest.

They have to not only look their parts and pull it off but they also have to do their jobs on top of it all.

Imagine the ass kissing they have to do in world that is full of bigotry?

Anyway, back to shoveling shit for me.

[Nitehawk]

Static, I never thought of that. You're absolutely right. And riding small bicycles is also hard work. It doesn't half make your legs ache. :)

http://offbeatchronicles.typepad.com/offbeat_chronicles/2008/05/transvestite-mu.html

[timethief]

Ha! Ha! Ha! I really enjoyed the clever writing in this post. You made me smile and lol and I really needed to do both. Keep on blogging because your readers luv it. :)

[Nitehawk]

Thanks so much for your kind words and support. I'll remember that when blogger's block kicks in (again). :)

Nitehawk

[leonore aquino]

Nice computation... :)
Luv it! Cheers!

[Dark Angel]

Off to kiss some ass then! Urgh!