After reports of the Polish clergy being warned that they could be thrown in the slammer for plagiarism, we have news that a chubby-chasing nun has been given a restraining order for harassing a compulsive Internet user.
Sister Alopecia of the Little Sisters of Mercy convent in Salem, Oregon, ran into trouble when a block of flats was built across the street from the convent. From her window Sister Alopecia could see directly into the apartment of George Warburton, one of the residents.
Mr. Warburton, age 37, told Offbeat Chronicles “The Internet began taking over my life two years ago when I was just 144 pounds.”
To start with it was just a normal hobby. George would log on when he got home from work, check his mail and do a bit of social networking. But soon it became the centre of his whole world, and George became an Internet addict.
“Now because I exist solely on junk food and take-aways my weight has gone sky high. Things have gotten so bad that I don't bother to dress and only leave the computer to go to the bathroom. I don't clean up and don't close the curtains. It must have been on one of my visits to the bathroom that the sister spotted me.”
Sister Alopecia said “I've prayed this curse to be taken from me, but I just go all weak at the cloisters when I see a heavy man. I’ve gone to confession, and even sought counselling, but nothing seems to work. I just can’t keep away from the window.”
Police presented the following photographic evidence during the court case.
A chastened Sister Alopecia knelt throughout the proceedings.
George Warburton participated by Internet link.
Let us prey.
*********
Spoof Alert!
Source: Guardian.co.uk
*********
Offbeat Chronicles
Comments