Spoof Alert!
Yesterday we reported on Dutch hooligan Dirnt Giff van Dam who completely wiped out 4 years of work and the efforts of Dutch school children by driving a stolen motorcycle into a replica of a Viking ship.
At the time it looked as if the courts would throw the book at him, but van Dam has brought up what he claims to be extenuating circumstances. Although he admits to having taken the bike he says that it was just a bit of fun and that he would have returned it if it had not been for the police chasing him, and believe it or not IF THE TRAFFIC LIGHTS WERE NOT UPSIDE DOWN!
Van Dam said that he was spooked by the police and shot off down the side streets towards the water front, but when he came to the end of the road he saw the traffic lights and was so confounded and confused that he lost control of the motorcycle.
“I just kept looking at the lights, then this really ugly hooker walked out in front of me”, van Dam said. “The next thing I knew was that the front wheel hit the kerb and I was shot into the ice-cream stick thing”.
Van Dam claims to be the real victim of the incident and says that now even the sound of an ice-cream van bell brings him out in a cold sweat.
After the incident emergency services fished van Dam from the water and he was taken to the local hospital casualty department where he was treated for shock, minor lacerations and five hundred splinters.
When asked by our reporter whether police had taken down his particulars, van Dam said yes, but it was still a sore point.
Van Dam is currently released on police bail awaiting a court hearing.
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Source: Offbeat Chronicles
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Offbeat Chronicles
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